My Life Is Forever Changed

Take a moment to take this in:





I have never, in my entire life, and I say this with zero sarcasm, felt more proud to have a connection to Iowa. The Iowa Chops. Formerly the Iowa Stars, American Hockey League affiliate to the Dallas Stars, has reaffiliated to the Anaheim Ducks, and changed their name to the Iowa C*H*O*P*S. PERFECT! Now that in itself is pretty damn hilarious but look at that pig. I could get that thing tattooed across my chest. Oh man, keep your eyes a rolling. Notice anything else from that page? WE'VE TRIMMED THE FAT! YES! This franchise is something that I all Iowans should be proud to support. The food jokes will never end. Why have some fierce, too-serious-for-its-own-good name like the Thrashers, Lightning, or Hurricanes? The Iowa C*H*O*P*S. COME ON! The store website is the The Chop Shop. I cannot get enough. I am so enamored that I just bought a hat. I will proudly wear that hat everyday of my life.



Now I'm hoping it looks better than that once it arrives (i.e. no visible stitching), but this cap has two the necessary attributes to be part of the Pat Boberg closet: A) funny B) awesome. Once Marieta and I move back to Iowa I will have season tickets, a jersey, a decal on my car, and one fo those cones shaped like a pig snout you can yell through to start rallying cries(no they don't have them yet, I'm just hoping).

I would love if somehow Iowa could retain the rights to the Chops and use it for future pro teams. Having football, basketball, and baseball teams all named Chops lends itself to so much marketing and Iowa pride. I know there aren't many examples of cross sports name doubling (giants and cardinals are the only two off the top of my head), but damn it! Iowa could do it! What a great name! Too all you who are gonna look down on this name as cartoonish and not serious. ITS ONLY A GAME! GIVE UP THE PRETENSE! HAVE SOME FUN!

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