25 Random Pieces of P@

I have succumb to the facebook virus known as 25 random things about me. Here's the situation:

1) I came extremely close to dying when I was born.
2) I was a bit of a clepto as a child.
3) My sixth grade music teacher told me I had absolutely no musical ability (she was half right).
4) I attempted to wear shorts thru my 7th grade winter (failed when I was threatened with medical bills).
5) I wore nothing but shirts advertising food products for the first quarter of 8th grade.
6) In 8th grade sex education my science teacher was comparing the shape of different female sexual organs to different fruit and I pretty much tuned him out. I eventually heard him say that the female uterus is shaped like a pear, in my malaise I replied "Does it taste like a pear?" Let's say that my 8th grade sex ed ended at that exact moment with a weeks worth of sitting in the hall.
7) When I was a child I got a multitrack recorder as a present (the greatest present I ever received), saddly it lasted two days as our family dog chewed it up to the point that it was thrown away.
8) Before any of us could play any musical instruments my closest friends and I started a fictional band in 6th grade called Swirl.
9) One mildly cold afternoon in 6th grade my friends Eric Wagner, Luke Bonner, and I decided to go swimming with all our clothes on (save the socks and shoes). After we realized how stupid of an idea it was we got out and decided it was time to go home. Since I didn't want to get my socks and shoes wet I decided to put my socks on my hands and my hands in my shoes, leaving me zero ability to steer my bike. Also, with my bare feet exposed I draped them below my metal spikey pedals. So I set off with no appendages holding on to my bike besides my wrists and my rump... I went about five feet before I crashed and gashed a giant hole into my arm. So I am freaking out, bleeding bad, and sopping wet. My first move; tie my dry sock around my arm to apply pressure to the wound and call my mom to take me to the hospital. 16 stitches later and a lot of freaking out I have a crazy scar on my right arm.
10) My favorite food is chicken fingers.
11) My favorite color is Forest Green.
12) When I was a kid I was once on an undefeated little league baseball team and an undefeated soccer team.
13) I always wanted to be the goalie on my soccer team but I ran so fast I was always a forward. One day my coach caved and let me tend the goal. Now my team was so good that the ball never came close to the goal so I got bored. Fast. Soon enough I'm playing with the net. Putting my arms through it. Hanging from it. So with no action coming my way I start putting my legs and arms through it and let my whole body suspend from the net. About two seconds after I start hanging from the net the ball starts coming my way. Of course I freak out and start writhing in the net. Just as I get free someone on my team steals the ball and kicks it out of bounds. Time is called, I get yanked, and sat the rest of the game out. I never played goalie again. : (
14) I have seen every episode of the show Friends. (thanks to my beautiful wife)
15) I have a nutcracker collection.
16) I try to carry my video camera with me at all times.
17) I once met God in a Chicago area book store. Some random dude came up to me and said "hey Pat, how's it going?" I said good and wondered who in the world that dude was. I ran after him like a second after he turned the corner. He was vanished. So I figure that was God just checking in.
18) I hate Olives and while watching the 2004 Olympics I mistook some greek olives for grapes and popping them in my mouth without getting a good look. I nearly hurled all over the room.
19) I told my wife on our first date "YOU'RE STINKING UP THE CAR! . . . in a good way : )" she was wearing a tasty perfume.
20) I was beat up on two seperate occasions as a child.
21) Another time I was nearly beat up by two dudes while building a tree fort in the woods. When they made their initial attack I freaked out and swung my hammer at them (a warning shot) well it kind of connected with one of the head of one of them. They ran off immediately. Kind of cool, but I'm still pretty guilty for striking someone with a nearly deadly object.
22) I have moved once a year for the last 9 years.
23) While hiking in colorado some friends and I officially named a mountain. Yakamakai. Named after a time I couldn't remember what kayaks were called and said yakamakai instead. 23a) I'm an idiot.
24) I once proved to a college class I could put my feet behind my head. (I have since gained weight and lost the ability. I plan on regaining that talent.)
25) The first concert I ever attended was the Rolling Stones on their VooDoo Lounge tour.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Eddie Morra is an Idiot

This book should not exist

Top 10 Things of 2019